Reclaim Your Wings!

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KOKOLOGY TEST: Sweet memories

Kokology is the study of kokoro (Japanese: 心) which in the aforementioned language means “mind” or “spirit”. The Kokology book series was created by Tadahiko Nagao and Isamu Saito, a professor at Rissho and Waseda Universities in Japan and an author of a number of bestselling books regarding psychology and relationships. The main focus is the analysis of the deep psyche using theories from Freud and Jung. Kokology Questions typically are “guided” Day Dreams or Submodalities.

What is about reminiscences of childhood that stir the heart so deeply and make us long to turn back the clock? Is it that sense of returning to innocence or just the pleasure of game was a special kind of treasure. The collector’s mania for antiques and memorabilia has its roots in these childhood fascinations and the desire to relive the past, if only for a short while.

Our next encounter will take us back to that simpler time, to a little candy shop down the street. Perhaps you’ll find your younger self among the goods in stock.


Inside the candy store, you find rows of the old family candies, chocolate bars, chewing gums, and sweets from your youth. Some are stacked in organized shelves, some are loose in baskets and jars. What candy do you pick first, and why did you choose it? (Give the full reason behind your choice.)


While you’re wandering the store making selections, you notice that outside a group of children look as though they’re getting ready to enter the store. How many children actually come in?


You make your purchases and go home with a bag of candy. But when you open the bag, you see that the shopkeeper has added some free extra candies as a special treat for you. How many extras did you get?


You’ve been thinking about giving the candy you bought as a gift to someone. To whom, if anyone, would you give it?

Sweet memories: Kokology key

The candy theme harkens back to the time in our life when you could count on an occasional treat and even expect to be spoiled. This scenario reveals your expectations of others and your level of dependence.


What did you choose first from the almost endless selection? More important, why did you choose it? The reasoning behind your choice actually shows what you desire most from other people.

If you thought something like “I’d take the one with the secret toy surprise in the pack” you’re likely the type who responds well to people bearing gifts. (And, turning that around, you might not be so positive toward those who turn up empty-handed.) Beware of becoming too materialistic. There’s more to life than trading cards, iron-ons, and secret decoder rings.

If you said you chose the candy because you remember how good it tasted or it made you feel nostalgic, you are hungry for the same attention and affection you received from your mother as a child. Men, if you answered this way, you may be looked on as something of a mama’s boy.

If you made your decision based on external factors like “I liked the wrapper” or “It looked cool,” you’re the type of person who makes judgments based on appearance alone. Just remember, it’s the candy you eat, not the wrapper.


The number of children who entered the store while you shopped represents the number of people in your life you need to depend on. We all need support, whether it’s actual physical assistance in the work we do or just encouragement from the people we love. You can’t go through life completely on your own. But it’s also true that relying too much on others makes it difficult to achieve personal autonomy.

Most people imagine between one and five children entering the store. People who said more than five children came into the store still have a way to go before they reach an adult level of independence. But those who said no children come in also might need to reconsider the way they look at the world.


The number of free treats you got reveals how much you still depend on your mother. The amount of special attention the storekeeper showed you is a measure of the attention you actually want from your mother. Most adults say one or two pieces. If you answered ten or twenty, you may need to think about spreading your wings a little more and flying away from the nest.


To whom would you give the candy? The person you chose is a person you would like to be able to take care of someday or have become dependent on you. Did you say you gave it to your parents? Your wish may be a reality sooner than you think.
Was it your partner or a person you secretly like? It might be fun taking care of them for a day or two, but that could wear thin.
Or did you say you wouldn’t give the candy to anyone? You prefer a life with few attachments, asking little from the world and expecting the same in return. That solitary approach means you may never have to share with anyone, but it also means you may never have anyone to share with.

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