- Tired of getting into similar (bad) relationships, you probably think that’s because of a lack of choices.
- “If I increase the number of potential partners, I will certainly find the right one.”
- That will don’t happen. Instead of a perfect one, you are bumping into more wrongs than previous.
I have a friend who is probably “the perfect match” for every nice girl on this planet. He is running a successful company, beautiful and handsome, well dressed, clever and funny guy, everyone will say. Seems too good to be true? You’re right.
No matter how some girl is gorgeous and brilliant, the screenplay is more-less the same:
- dinner at some fine restaurant, then a night at an apartment for rent with a jacuzzi
- party at some loud nightclub, then some 00-24 cringe club, then quick drunk sex so good that neither will remember it
God knows how many “victims” of his I’ve met, and no one was so good to become his girlfriend. Do we see red alerts here?
You will get what you are
Let’s look at this case from both angles.
What does he want? We can conclude – nice and hot girls, a lot of fun, excitement, escape from boredom, etc. But, he is still doesn’t find a permanent solution. That’s why he wants more, that’s why no one girl isn’t good enough – because his emptiness is enormously huge. He cannot find with other people and environments what doesn’t exist in himself. With a bunch of choices, he is still empty.
Among all those girls there are certainly some who want only short fun. That’s legit, and we don’t discuss them.
But, what can we conclude about some nice girl who was hoping for a happy relationship with a handsome successful guy, and instead of that got a one-night stand? She can’t judge well. She doesn’t value herself enough. She doesn’t know how to set boundaries.
Ultimately, if you want a stable relationship that leads to marriage, the chances are minimal that this will happen with a guy who wants to get you drunk and take you to bed.
Swipe left, like, swipe
Oh, how much is hard to yearn for love, being sad and lonely while everyone around you is loved. With those thoughts and energy, your self-worth and self-love are on a low level.
You can swipe and choose days and months, but you will always get a reflection of yourself. You are insecure, have a fear of abandonment, maybe a daddy issue? Here you are one polite, polished sociopath who will first give you hope and dream, then break you into thousand pieces!
Your desire is a rich, wealthy guy who can solve your fear of the poor? Hell no, even you will get a guy like this, he is probably a liar or niggard!
Turn out the game
We will reveal two great secrets to you.
First of all, don’t focus on your partner in terms of what he looks like, what he does, how educated he is, and so on. Forget about it.
Focus on what your ideal relationship looks like. What does it mean and imply? What does your relationship look like, how do you spend your days, what are the values that your relationship has?
Literally make slides in your head, short films in which you do not watch the projection of a couple, but you are the main character. This is easy and sweet, isn’t it?
Secondly, now that you know the values of your relationship, let’s see yours. What do you give in a relationship? For example, tenderness, fidelity, dedication, cheerful spirit, support, friendship?
Put yourself in the position that you are not an inert person who expects to get something (because a relationship is a two-way relation), yet you, right you, give value to your relationship as much as the other person.
- as an inert, empty or crushed person, you will attract a similar potential partner
- no one cannot repair or compensate your emptiness, insecure, and fears
- the only right way is you become a person who loves and appreciate yourself and knows what a healthy and happy relationship implies
p.s. my bossy friend has made some crucial changes in his whole life. Right now, he is in 2 years happy relationship and expect his first child.